I’ve been thinking about the condition of my heart lately. Not my physical heart, but my spiritual one. To be honest, both need my attention, but lately, the one where God dwells has been heavy on my mind.
Grousing comes to mind when I think of my heart condition. Grousing is an interesting word. I kind of like saying it. Maybe too much.
G R O U S I N G!
Yep, sounds disgusting when you say it slow and low in the bottom of your throat.
But, what does it mean?
Before we look it up in the dictionary to see what good old Dictionary.com says, let’s think about it.
Thinking…
To grouse means to be dis-satisfied.
To see want, instead of blessing.
To be ungrateful instead of thankful.
To complain about silly things when the big things are doing fairly well.
To be overall unhappy with your situation, but for no good reason, because my situation is just not that bad.
That doesn’t sound good, does it? I’m embarrassed to admit that I think that describes my miserable heart to a tee. 
Oh Lord. What can the matter be?
Let’s put it another way.
Let’s say that things are miserable. The big things are a mess. The overall situation really stinks. Then can we grouse?
Hmmm? I’m not sure.
Thinking again…
While we are thinking let’s look up ‘grouse’ in the dictionary.
Oh, it says that grouse is a bird. 
No, not that grouse. Look again.
Grouse: to complain and grumble. Ooh-not good.
I am a grouser!!! That sounds gross!
Uh oh-Scriptures are coming to mind. The Lord is speaking to my grousing heart.
Rejoice in the Lord at all times and again I say rejoice. Phil 4:4 (Even when there is big trouble?)
Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in all circumstances. Phil. 4:11 (No, I haven’t learned that yet)
But godliness with contentment is great wealth. I Tim 6:6(I suffer from a lack of contentment)
I know of friends who have some very big things happening in their lives. Things one could really grouse about. Really hard, hurtful, painful things and yet, I do not hear them grouse. I hear them hurt, but they are lifting praise to the Lord. I see them bent low but I see their hands lifted high. I feel ashamed by my grousing heart.
All of this grousing stuff was brought to my mind and then came to a halt as I looked at our lovely family pictures. We took them when BD was here. Such love and affection between us all. All healthy and okay for the most part-no one or nothing is perfect ever-‘cept God. But wow-I really have so much to be thankful.
So, what is wrong with my heart and me?
It’s sin. Pure and simple. SIN!! Oh what a yucky word. But look and see what God says about it.
Psalm 32
Blessed is the one
whose transgressions are forgiven,
whose sins are covered.
2 Blessed is the one
whose sin the LORD does not count against them
and in whose spirit is no deceit.
3 When I kept silent,
my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
4 For day and night
your hand was heavy on me;
my strength was sapped
as in the heat of summer.[b]
5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess
my transgressions to the LORD.”
And you forgave
the guilt of my sin.
6 Therefore let all the faithful pray to you
while you may be found;
surely the rising of the mighty waters
will not reach them.
7 You are my hiding place;
you will protect me from trouble
and surround me with songs of deliverance.
8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.
9 Do not be like the horse or the mule,
which have no understanding
but must be controlled by bit and bridle
or they will not come to you.
10 Many are the woes of the wicked,
but the LORD’s unfailing love
surrounds the one who trusts in him.
11 Rejoice in the LORD and be glad, you righteous;
sing, all you who are upright in heart!
I am rejoicing with this psalm because God has forgiven me and made me righteous. Only He can do this.
I do not want to grouse, Oh Lord. Put thankfulness in my heart. Cause me to see Your Goodness and Mercy all the days of my life. When I complain, convict my heart, Be my hiding place so I do not sin against you or anyone else. Help me be thankful in all circumstances. Be with my dear friends who are hurting and lonely. Lift their heads and give them strength. Amen.
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